I am very thankful that my parents raised me with faith. I feel it set me on my right path and has given me strength to face life as it comes. I cannot imagine not having the comfort of knowing God has a plan for me and my loved ones.
In my day to day life, I try to keep that knowledge close to heart. To be quite honest, Jeff and I have had a rough few months. Not to worry, we are still very in love, but we’ve been faced with obstacles in our professional lives that have been affecting our personal life.
I can generally juggle the good and the bad. I get down at times but instantly tell myself to put on my big girl panties and get on with life. There is too much happening to waste feeling sorry for yourself.
But I have to admit, I let it get to me today. One of us is facing some news in the employment area. The company is going a certain way that leads to uncertainty. And when we were getting to a point of possibly planning on vacations, new cars, kids… it’s disheartening. I wanted to buy some balloons and streamers and sit on our couch to have a pity party of one.
In these moments of feeling lost, I have to remind myself that God has a plan. I tell myself that it may not be the plan that I think is best, but it is the right one.
I have come to the realization that as much as I want my life to happen a certain way, I cannot force it. I cannot put a timeline on life and expect it to happen when I’m ready. If it is in God’s plan for me to be a mother, I would be ecstatic. If it is not, man that would suck, but so be it.
The other night Jeff and I were laying in bed, facing each other and talking. I had the sudden thought that if my life ended now, I would be happy. I am married to a man who loves me and takes care of me.
And with that I’m going to blow my nose and wipe my eyes. Even as crappy as the situation seems right now, it could be a lot worse. God knows what He’s doing and everything happening is His will. He will provide in one way or another.
I have faith.
